Don’t Take My “No” Personally

We are living in a time when it is virtually impossible to disconnect from anything. With the advent of high-powered, high-tech handheld devices, we are all LITERALLY a swipe or thumbprint away from anyone and everyone else who’s “connected”. It’s virtually impossible to eat, sleep, or have private time (a.k.a. bathroom) without feeling accosted by the endless array of beeps, tweets, fweeps, honks, and the incredibly obnoxious, “You have a text message!” notifications. We feel so obligated to remain connected (kind of like being in “the matrix”) that when we realize we’ve missed “a call, a tweet, a text, or a notification” of any kind, that somehow we’ve failed as modern day human beings. We also cannot forget the flood of invitations that come our way via email, social media, and text messages requesting our attendance or financial support towards a celebration, a cause, or a human need. These constant bombardments and demands for our time and attention are exhausting and can create high levels of anxiety for even the most stoic of individuals. And for people like me, who suffer from anxiety disorders, it can almost become debilitating.

Because I am sensitive and a creative soul, I’ve often become overwhelmed by these constant demands. And yes, yes it’s very easy to say, “well just put the phone down”, or “shut it off”, or my personal favorite, “aren’t you being a little dramatic?” Well, that’s easier said than done in a world where you almost need to be available for opportunities, emergencies, and frankly, just to be informed whether your life or the lives of people you love are in danger. It’s almost as if we are doomed to an existence of over-access all the time.

But recently, I’ve reached an impasse. I’ve realized I don’t want to be accessible all the time anymore. I don’t want to always be “connected” or “available”. I’m learning to say no to over-access and no to constant demands. Social media almost demands a “yes” to everything that comes our way, but I say”no”. “No” to immediately answering every call, text message, tweet, comment, message, or post. I say “no” to feeling obligated to every invitation, request for financial support, and/or saving everyone needs saving. I can’t save the world. That was a difficult conclusion to come to and accept. I can’t fix everyone. Hell, most times it’s a monumental effort to attempt to “fix” me. But saying “no” doesn’t make me a bad person. Saying “no”, in an effort to preserve my peace, my sanity, and my functionality, is not only fine, but a necessary step towards self-care giving me room to grow and flourish.

People should try to understand, (though many won’t), that my “no” isn’t personal…at least not towards you. Please try to understand (although I’ll be just fine if you don’t because that’s your burden to bear, not mine) that my “no” might mean that I’m tired (mentally, emotionally and/or physically), that I already have too much on my plate and realistically cannot fit ANYMORE.  Or that perhaps what you’re demands are are not necessarily of interest to me or related to what I believe my purpose is on this earth (sorry to be so deep but it’s real and it’s relevant to me). I promise. So please, don’t take my “no” personally, because personally, I’m just trying to take care of me.

Peace and blessings to you!

A Safe Place

Many who are broken prey upon other broken ones to make themselves feel whole. They will say and do anything to get what they want/need to fill the gaping craters of emptiness within them caused by life’s traumas, disappointments, and tragedies. Instead of looking within themselves and reconciling their own brokenness, they look outward and drain other broken souls trying desperately to be healed. And while they don’t mean to cause harm, they do. They break down other broken souls even lower than they already are, all the while realizing that they don’t feel any better , any “whole-er” than they did before they began. So, broken souls break other broken souls and never get the healing that they need because they’re tapping into the wrong source. But in spite of our misguided, human attempts at achieving wholeness, God is still our safe place. No matter what lies have been told to you, about you, or even that you’ve told (to others or to yourself), God is still our refuge and there is shelter, grace, mercy, peace, and healing under his Almighty wings. Today is Resurrection Sunday. It’s time to allow God to resurrect the purpose He has ordained for your life. But first, you have to seek refuge in that safe place, stop lying to yourself, and allow God to show you who you are now, so you can become the you you’re destined to be! There is healing in the SAFE PLACE of Christ Jesus! (Thank you, Bishop George and Pastor Mary Searight)!